Caring for Aging Parents - Transitions in the Journey

Finding yourself in deep water, uncharted territory, struggling to navigate the complex, often confusing, exhausting, thankless, but definitely rewarding Care of Aging Parents? You’re not alone. Alison Linton brings a warmth and candor gained from years of experience advocating for not one, two or three elderly relatives, but five, each a beloved family member, each facing challenges that were unable to be managed without outside assistance, medical intervention, financial advice…tough love conversations centered on healthcare decisions that required changes in living arrangements, discussing preferences for end of life care, and everything in between. Engage with our weekly invited guests who will offer wisdom, compassions & insight during Panel Discussions, sharing just what it took for their families to recognize, address, and be at peace with Transitions in the Journey. Transition One: Recognizing the Clues, Denial, and Needs. If Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure… what are positive, life style enhancing activities including, but not limited to…Diet, Exercise, Reducing Stress, Maximizing Sleep, Staying Active, Staying Engaged, Finding Purpose, Finding Peace… that might help slow the need to Transition into the unknown territory. What are the clues to help know when Mom or Dad’s physical, mental, emotional, social, financial, medical or spiritual needs are not being met? Transition Two: Who’s in Charge?! There’s an old adage, Vote Early, Vote Often, which for our purposes will help us address what often becomes the Elephant in the Room: Who, actually, is in charge? Who gets to vote? Have we reached a consensus? Are Mom & Dad wanting or still able to call the shots? Though a Will, POA, Executor, Medical POA, and Living Wills are complete and assigned, how will we know if the time has come for a Transition? When is it time for one or more of the kids to step up? Do we wait to be invited? What if one of the adult children happens to live nearby, but another sibling lives cross country? What steps can be taken to help spare any sibling from experiencing burn out while at the same time, needs are addressed, solutions offered, appreciation flowing. Transition Three: Home is Where the Heart Is! Hopefully by now, positive communication is the sine qua non, doctors’ visits, medical tests, MRIs, hearing aide visits, eye exams, dental cleanings, and podiatry appointments are each made with the goal to accommodate the schedule of both the patient AND an adult child who willingly becomes the driver, listener, notetaker, spokesperson, aka: The Advocate. But in spite of all the specialists, why is there never a moment when our minds don’t race to potential risks? What if Mom falls, the stove is left on, the burner forgotten? Who will take out the trash, keep up with the laundry, mow the lawn, shovel the driveway, shop for groceries, prepare the meals? Who’s first to be called in an emergency? Do we need Mom & Dad’s finances opened for review? If after a brief hospital stay and rehab is recommended, who makes the arrangements? Should we hire part-time in home care? Create a schedule for family members to drop in? Help Mom or Dad pack up and live in one or more of the adult children’s homes? Choose a CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community) which offers 24/7 round the clock care… for a fee. Help!!! Transition Four- The Goal is No Regrets! After my mother was rushed by ambulance and hospitalized eleven times in her last ten months, my two brothers and I were faced with the terrible reality that she would never improve from the crippling physical effects of COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), but mentally, her mind remained sharp as a tack, her spunky spirit strong. Who has the right to suggest a discussion that leads down only one path? A trusted physician? A priest, pastor, rabbi, or other spiritual mentor? If the Goal of Caring for Our Aging Parents is NO Regrets, who chooses when the time has come to no longer provide treatment, but shift to offering comfort measures, the practice known as Hospice? How are we to open up discussion on a topic many eschew, that of End of Life Care? Is there a place to tap into our faith? And if walking by faith is new, where, when and how can we join with like minded believers to encourage each other on this Journey of Transitions?